Tonight's adventure in Paleo eating involved my first time cooking ground buffalo. I had it in the freezer for a little while and finally got around to using it.
I've been craving zucchini and squash lately and my favorite way to eat it is stuffed. I had seen a recipe on the web for stuffed zucchini that looked really good with sundried tomatoes and eggplant. So I went looking for some zucchini to stuff.
Well, apparently it is not quite time for giant zucchini to stuff. I could only find small ones. So I grabbed those and grabbed tomatoes and a seedless cucumber for the salad.
The salad was a small head of red leaf lettuce, arugula and and onion from the CSA box. I added some carrots and tomato and called it good.
Dinner turned out to be the following:
1 lb ground buffalo
1 T chopped garlic
Italian seasoning to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
3 small zucchini sliced thin
1/2 yellow onion sliced thin
1/2 c roasted red pepper, diced
1/2 T garlic
1/4 c red wine
Brown the ground beef in olive oil with the italian seasoning, garlic and salt and pepper. Set aside.
Add a little more olive oil to the pan.
Add the zucchini and the onion to the pan with the garlic. Saute until the zucchini starts to turn translucent and let it brown up.
Add the diced red pepper to the pan and the red wine. Add the ground beef back into the pan and let it cook to meld the flavors.
Serve with a sprinkle of parmesan cheese on top and a nice crisp salad.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Becoming Better
I definitely was NOT sedentary this weekend! Eeesh!
Saturday was my ResoLOSEtion group at the gym. Wow. This was the first session I have been to this round. (I missed the first one while I was up in Wisconsin.) We are doing the Insanity:Asylum workouts. Wheeeee! The format is the same in that it is sets of movements done for a specific amount of time each. So: five movements, and you do each one for thirty seconds. It is different in that this time there are resistance bands or weights incorporated into the workouts. It is intense - you SWEAT doing this workout even though we are not necessarily doing as much "cardio" moves. Whew!
Here is what I am noticing about myself in these workouts:
1. I've so missed doing things with a group of people-this group of people in particular. They spur me on to continue pushing myself.
2. While I am definitely not what I would call "in shape", I am in better shape than when I started in February. And I am more willing to try out a move than I was then. I even gave "Mountain Climbers" a try this weekend and I would have NOT done that when I started. I can't do them great but I did them the best I could.
3. My shoulders and arms are still pretty okay strength wise even though I haven't danced in forever. I'm not like Ms. Universe or anything but I'm not rubber-band-arms-girl either. :)
Sunday was the day STAG moved all of his big stuff into my - OUR - house. I packed boxes, carried them, moved them around etc. It was a day of hard work and a lot of stairs. By the end of the day, all I wanted was a shower to get the dust off and to go to bed. And that's what we did!
Neither of these days included the P90X workouts. Especially on Saturday, I felt like I got a good workout in. Tonight I am going to do it though. STAG will be at class and I will be on my own. But I feel like if I get in the workout while dinner is cooking I will feel good and can just hang out and do some house stuff tonight. Slowly, I'm trying to make this a part of my everyday life...
"You can always become better."
-Tiger Woods
Friday, April 20, 2012
P90X - And so it begins!
Okay, I haven't posted here in a while but I haven't given up or stopped working on my health for this year
There's a lot to tell and I'm not sure how well I will be able to convey everything here , but I'll try. For this post I'm going to focus on the Physical Health aspect of my life (If you hadn't already figured that out from the title...)
This all starts back about two weeks ago when I went up to a pagan gathering called "Earth Conclave". One of the things I came away with from the weekend is that I should be doing a daily devotional to the Morrigan and the Red Dragon that was physical. No saying a little prayer or lighting a candle for me! My daily exercise is to be my devotion. Which,makes sense as I've been bringing my spiritual path into this work on my self and makes even more sense because the Morrigan has been encouraging me to feel like a warrior and claim that strength and determination that is within me.
SO, I rested on my laurels for a few days after the gathering, and those few days stretched into weeks. Then, yesterday, I got my P90X set back in the mail from my cousin who had borrowed it. And there it was: a box full of stuff that said "No More Excuses".
I really had no choice, I went home last night and did the first workout on the Lean program. It's called Core Synergistics. It's all core muscle work. I am sore. It was tough. I only made it halfway before the muscle in my back that I pulled a few weeks ago was warning me to stop - and I took its advice not wanting to EVER be in that much pain again.
I did it though. And tonight I'll do the next workout. It's Cardio X - but don't think that means cute women in spandex bopping around on the screen. I'll update tomorrow.
I'll do it as much as I can the best that I can. In 90 days we will see what changes have occurred. I think my inner warrior is going to love it!
There's a lot to tell and I'm not sure how well I will be able to convey everything here , but I'll try. For this post I'm going to focus on the Physical Health aspect of my life (If you hadn't already figured that out from the title...)
This all starts back about two weeks ago when I went up to a pagan gathering called "Earth Conclave". One of the things I came away with from the weekend is that I should be doing a daily devotional to the Morrigan and the Red Dragon that was physical. No saying a little prayer or lighting a candle for me! My daily exercise is to be my devotion. Which,makes sense as I've been bringing my spiritual path into this work on my self and makes even more sense because the Morrigan has been encouraging me to feel like a warrior and claim that strength and determination that is within me.
SO, I rested on my laurels for a few days after the gathering, and those few days stretched into weeks. Then, yesterday, I got my P90X set back in the mail from my cousin who had borrowed it. And there it was: a box full of stuff that said "No More Excuses".
I really had no choice, I went home last night and did the first workout on the Lean program. It's called Core Synergistics. It's all core muscle work. I am sore. It was tough. I only made it halfway before the muscle in my back that I pulled a few weeks ago was warning me to stop - and I took its advice not wanting to EVER be in that much pain again.
I did it though. And tonight I'll do the next workout. It's Cardio X - but don't think that means cute women in spandex bopping around on the screen. I'll update tomorrow.
I'll do it as much as I can the best that I can. In 90 days we will see what changes have occurred. I think my inner warrior is going to love it!
"If you keep at it, one day something which at first appeared impossible will become merely something very difficult indeed"
-Danny Paradise
Monday, February 27, 2012
Moving Ever Forward
Sheesh! Where does the time go?
I'm two months in on this year of health and changes are being made...slowly. I think that is okay though. It seems that every time I try to make a lot of changes all at once that things fall apart more easily. So, I'm making small steps. In a lot of areas. So this means that things haven't been perfect. I"m not entirely sure why I think they WILL be perfect...but I am the eternal optimist. Here's a bit of an update on all the areas of health I am working on right now:
Physical Health: I love love love love love love LOVE my ResoLOSEtion group. They keep me wanting to keep trying. Plus, the workouts are just so much fun. Well, okay...they're not like FUN, fun. In fact, quite frequently I'm chanting "Fuck! FUCK! FUCK!' while doing them and wondering when thirty seconds became such an eternity. But, I do find it fun to push myself and see my strength improve. I _am_ a masochist after all!! I have also found several group exercise classes I enjoy going and doing. I'm not totally achieving 3 days a week at the gym on a regular basis yet, but I am trying - which is better than giving up and sitting on the couch.
I also love the book we are reading and have gotten a lot of valuable insights into my own eating patterns from it. I'm not totally great at always implementing the strategies from the book with every meal but I am doing so more often than not. I'm also cooking my own food more than ever and just enjoying my kitchen. Gods I love cooking. It is my zen time and my relaxation and my passion. Even when I feel rushed I am able to enjoy the process. I'm planning out meals every week and I'm eating better quality and better tasting foods overall.
Spiritual Health: Well! It's a bit of a crazy time in this regard. The CUUPs group is up and going. Our first public ritual was a great success. It feels SO GOOD to be in ritual space on a regular basis. And it is amazing to work with these (primarily) women who are so vibrant and rich with experience. I am humbled to be included with them and that they might actually see me in the same light. We are figuring the group dynamic out, which is what this first year is really going to be about from a "housekeeping" point of view.
In my own, personal, spiritual development and ritual space I am still not a daily practitioner of things (other than kitchen witch stuff) but I find that my life is....more filled with my faith than it has been before. I'm coming out of the broom closet more and more - even to people at work whom I feel I can trust. I am speaking, publicly, about my faith to people. It's quite lovely to spread those wings a bit.
Financial Health: These are the hardest habits to break. Ugh. But, I keep coming back to it and back to it. I will not give up. There is no reason that I am unable to make this work other than long-ingrained habits of ignoring my money and being in a panic about it. I am exploring why money makes me so anxious. I feel that if I do some work as to the root of that emotion I may be able to soothe that part of me that has been so very very stressed about it. Where my exercise habit benefits from a bit of "GET UP! GET GOING!" kind of self-talk, the good money habits seem to freeze and freak out. So, I think a bit of self care and loving kindness towards myself with this topic seems to be in order. Should be interesting.
Relationship Health: My family is...amazing. It seems to me sometimes that a happy, joyful relationship with ones family is a rare thing in this world. I am continually grateful for this. Dunno how it happened exactly but I'm not going to question it. My dearest STAG is....well...he is like the missing piece. I cannot exactly put into words what he means to me and to my life. He is the other half of my heart and a balm to any wounds I might still carry. I am not afraid to tell him anything - even the things that my own self-doubt sometimes bring up. He is an outstanding human being in so very many ways. I love every minute I have with him and look forward to what the future holds.
Overall, I feel more myself than I have in a very, very, long time. Everything else, I believe, is secondary to that thought right there. And everything I want to achieve in this year will flow from it. I can only be me, luckily, I am in control of who that "me" is right now and who I will become.
I'm two months in on this year of health and changes are being made...slowly. I think that is okay though. It seems that every time I try to make a lot of changes all at once that things fall apart more easily. So, I'm making small steps. In a lot of areas. So this means that things haven't been perfect. I"m not entirely sure why I think they WILL be perfect...but I am the eternal optimist. Here's a bit of an update on all the areas of health I am working on right now:
Physical Health: I love love love love love love LOVE my ResoLOSEtion group. They keep me wanting to keep trying. Plus, the workouts are just so much fun. Well, okay...they're not like FUN, fun. In fact, quite frequently I'm chanting "Fuck! FUCK! FUCK!' while doing them and wondering when thirty seconds became such an eternity. But, I do find it fun to push myself and see my strength improve. I _am_ a masochist after all!! I have also found several group exercise classes I enjoy going and doing. I'm not totally achieving 3 days a week at the gym on a regular basis yet, but I am trying - which is better than giving up and sitting on the couch.
I also love the book we are reading and have gotten a lot of valuable insights into my own eating patterns from it. I'm not totally great at always implementing the strategies from the book with every meal but I am doing so more often than not. I'm also cooking my own food more than ever and just enjoying my kitchen. Gods I love cooking. It is my zen time and my relaxation and my passion. Even when I feel rushed I am able to enjoy the process. I'm planning out meals every week and I'm eating better quality and better tasting foods overall.
Spiritual Health: Well! It's a bit of a crazy time in this regard. The CUUPs group is up and going. Our first public ritual was a great success. It feels SO GOOD to be in ritual space on a regular basis. And it is amazing to work with these (primarily) women who are so vibrant and rich with experience. I am humbled to be included with them and that they might actually see me in the same light. We are figuring the group dynamic out, which is what this first year is really going to be about from a "housekeeping" point of view.
In my own, personal, spiritual development and ritual space I am still not a daily practitioner of things (other than kitchen witch stuff) but I find that my life is....more filled with my faith than it has been before. I'm coming out of the broom closet more and more - even to people at work whom I feel I can trust. I am speaking, publicly, about my faith to people. It's quite lovely to spread those wings a bit.
Financial Health: These are the hardest habits to break. Ugh. But, I keep coming back to it and back to it. I will not give up. There is no reason that I am unable to make this work other than long-ingrained habits of ignoring my money and being in a panic about it. I am exploring why money makes me so anxious. I feel that if I do some work as to the root of that emotion I may be able to soothe that part of me that has been so very very stressed about it. Where my exercise habit benefits from a bit of "GET UP! GET GOING!" kind of self-talk, the good money habits seem to freeze and freak out. So, I think a bit of self care and loving kindness towards myself with this topic seems to be in order. Should be interesting.
Relationship Health: My family is...amazing. It seems to me sometimes that a happy, joyful relationship with ones family is a rare thing in this world. I am continually grateful for this. Dunno how it happened exactly but I'm not going to question it. My dearest STAG is....well...he is like the missing piece. I cannot exactly put into words what he means to me and to my life. He is the other half of my heart and a balm to any wounds I might still carry. I am not afraid to tell him anything - even the things that my own self-doubt sometimes bring up. He is an outstanding human being in so very many ways. I love every minute I have with him and look forward to what the future holds.
Overall, I feel more myself than I have in a very, very, long time. Everything else, I believe, is secondary to that thought right there. And everything I want to achieve in this year will flow from it. I can only be me, luckily, I am in control of who that "me" is right now and who I will become.
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
~Harvey Fierstein
Thursday, February 2, 2012
I am the warrior...?
So, The Morrigan sez to me, she sez: Remember when women were the warriors.
This past Sunday was the Imbolc/Brighnasa/Candlemas ritual for the CUUPs group I'm involved with. As part of the ritual we did a guided meditation and during that time The Morrigan stopped by for a short visit, wherein she imparted the above little tidbit to me.
The Morrigan and I go back a ways to the time when I was nursing a very broken heart and spirit after a horrific breakup. I was figuring out all the ways in which he (the former boyfriend) had emotionally and mentally abused me during our time together and was just....wrung out. I was at a large reenactment and walking rather aimlessly through the shopping and I wandered into a stall where they had all kinds of stuff, including this statue of a powerful looking woman with a shield and spear with her face turned up defiantly and I had it in my hands before I really knew what I was doing. I eyed the other statues for sale, especially the one of Brigid in her three forms around a cauldron but a voice in my head said that no, I needed the one I picked up. I bought it without knowing anything about it other than that I needed it, and that is how The Morrigan and I became acquainted. She's had my back ever since.
Yes, she's portrayed as a bit of a handful. She's not necessarily kind, gentle and loving but she's ALWAYS honest and she'll call me on my shit. She also wears totally hot leather pants and that biker jacket I've coveted for years but just doesn't look right on me no matter what I do. The Morrigan reminds me to give my inner badass some time in the light.
So, while I was on my little journey and thinking about my year of health and how I was going to weave that into and around my life, The Morrigan shows up. She was all "Yeah, weaving's nice but....you need to kick some ass too."
And then she said "Remember when women were the warriors" which is TOTALLY something she would say, right?
I am keeping this in mind as I am heading to the gym and any time I feel my energy flagging in the middle of a workout it pushes me onward. I am remembering how strong my body is and how awesome I feel after pushing myself through another hour of movement. That little phrase is keeping me determined and moving forward with my physical goals for health.
Not to mention making me feel like a badass while I'm in the middle of my day.
This past Sunday was the Imbolc/Brighnasa/Candlemas ritual for the CUUPs group I'm involved with. As part of the ritual we did a guided meditation and during that time The Morrigan stopped by for a short visit, wherein she imparted the above little tidbit to me.
The Morrigan and I go back a ways to the time when I was nursing a very broken heart and spirit after a horrific breakup. I was figuring out all the ways in which he (the former boyfriend) had emotionally and mentally abused me during our time together and was just....wrung out. I was at a large reenactment and walking rather aimlessly through the shopping and I wandered into a stall where they had all kinds of stuff, including this statue of a powerful looking woman with a shield and spear with her face turned up defiantly and I had it in my hands before I really knew what I was doing. I eyed the other statues for sale, especially the one of Brigid in her three forms around a cauldron but a voice in my head said that no, I needed the one I picked up. I bought it without knowing anything about it other than that I needed it, and that is how The Morrigan and I became acquainted. She's had my back ever since.
Yes, she's portrayed as a bit of a handful. She's not necessarily kind, gentle and loving but she's ALWAYS honest and she'll call me on my shit. She also wears totally hot leather pants and that biker jacket I've coveted for years but just doesn't look right on me no matter what I do. The Morrigan reminds me to give my inner badass some time in the light.
So, while I was on my little journey and thinking about my year of health and how I was going to weave that into and around my life, The Morrigan shows up. She was all "Yeah, weaving's nice but....you need to kick some ass too."
And then she said "Remember when women were the warriors" which is TOTALLY something she would say, right?
I am keeping this in mind as I am heading to the gym and any time I feel my energy flagging in the middle of a workout it pushes me onward. I am remembering how strong my body is and how awesome I feel after pushing myself through another hour of movement. That little phrase is keeping me determined and moving forward with my physical goals for health.
Not to mention making me feel like a badass while I'm in the middle of my day.
"I am my mother's savage daughter/ the one who runs barefoot cursing sharp stones."
-from the song "My Mother's Savage Daughter"
by Mistress Windreth Bergensdottir
Monday, January 23, 2012
In which I become a cheerleader...
Oh how I hate money. It's a dream of mine to just be able to hand everything to do with money to someone else and say "YOU deal with it". I get freaked out every time I have to do anything with mine - paying bills, looking up the bank balances, even doing this new budget thing. It all makes me feel hopeless and helpless.
But, its not enough anymore to just say "I'm bad with money" or "I'm stupid about money". I think my issues with handling my finances come from a lifetime of being told how terrible and stupid I am with my money. That the choices I make with my money are frivolous and dumb.
In looking back at my lifetime of earning, all i can see is how I was never encouraged to think about what "I" wanted to do with my funds but what the "right" thing to do was. I was told to save it all. Never spend it. And if I spent it, I was told it was on the wrong things. I've had income since I was about 9 and started babysitting. I had my first actual paycheck when I was 13 and got a work permit. My history is long with feeling out of control over my finances and being told that I was stupid and a spendthrift. Because, clearly, wanting the new Duran Duran tape is a completely stupid thing for a 13 year old.
I'm trying to rewrite this little script in my head these days. To remind myself that I am paying my bills and beginning to see where I spend my cash and that these are GOOD things. I am seeing where I can cut back on things and rein myself in a bit - not because I'm STUPID but because there are other things I'd like to do with my money. (Which are also not stupid.)
I stopped updating my budget software last week and now I have to catch that up tonight. Ugh. It makes me want to vomit because I've gone over in one area of the budget. But, honestly, what does that actually mean?
It means, that by keeping track of my spending for a measely TWO WEEKS I have seen how I "normally" do things. And I can see that my normal mode of operation really isn't working out. I can see how easily that can be remedied, and actually plan better for the next two weeks. I can even see how, in a very short while, I will be able to arrange things so that most of the bills are paid from one paycheck and the next one can be used for other things. I can see that I actually DO have enough money.
All of these things are not the actions and reactions of a stupid person, they are the actions of a person who is learning. It's so hard to be my own cheerleader on these things when I'm much more prone to being my own shit-talker. So, I've written my own little money-stuff cheer to say to myself when I'm updating my software or making money decisions:
Miss B is smart!
Miss B is thrifty!
She can save!
She is so spiffy!
Miss B is awesome!
Miss B is great!
She'll pay all the bills
And never be late!
Miss B loves shoes!
Miss B loves to shop!
She buys good stuff
but knows when to stop!
Okay, its not the best cheer ever written but hey, its better than nothing. And I always wanted to be a cheerleader - those poms are really pretty cool....
But, its not enough anymore to just say "I'm bad with money" or "I'm stupid about money". I think my issues with handling my finances come from a lifetime of being told how terrible and stupid I am with my money. That the choices I make with my money are frivolous and dumb.
In looking back at my lifetime of earning, all i can see is how I was never encouraged to think about what "I" wanted to do with my funds but what the "right" thing to do was. I was told to save it all. Never spend it. And if I spent it, I was told it was on the wrong things. I've had income since I was about 9 and started babysitting. I had my first actual paycheck when I was 13 and got a work permit. My history is long with feeling out of control over my finances and being told that I was stupid and a spendthrift. Because, clearly, wanting the new Duran Duran tape is a completely stupid thing for a 13 year old.
I'm trying to rewrite this little script in my head these days. To remind myself that I am paying my bills and beginning to see where I spend my cash and that these are GOOD things. I am seeing where I can cut back on things and rein myself in a bit - not because I'm STUPID but because there are other things I'd like to do with my money. (Which are also not stupid.)
I stopped updating my budget software last week and now I have to catch that up tonight. Ugh. It makes me want to vomit because I've gone over in one area of the budget. But, honestly, what does that actually mean?
It means, that by keeping track of my spending for a measely TWO WEEKS I have seen how I "normally" do things. And I can see that my normal mode of operation really isn't working out. I can see how easily that can be remedied, and actually plan better for the next two weeks. I can even see how, in a very short while, I will be able to arrange things so that most of the bills are paid from one paycheck and the next one can be used for other things. I can see that I actually DO have enough money.
All of these things are not the actions and reactions of a stupid person, they are the actions of a person who is learning. It's so hard to be my own cheerleader on these things when I'm much more prone to being my own shit-talker. So, I've written my own little money-stuff cheer to say to myself when I'm updating my software or making money decisions:
Miss B is smart!
Miss B is thrifty!
She can save!
She is so spiffy!
Miss B is awesome!
Miss B is great!
She'll pay all the bills
And never be late!
Miss B loves shoes!
Miss B loves to shop!
She buys good stuff
but knows when to stop!
Okay, its not the best cheer ever written but hey, its better than nothing. And I always wanted to be a cheerleader - those poms are really pretty cool....
"Would you call your best friend an idiot or a dummy on a regular basis? Would they let you? Chances are not, on both counts. So why do you do it to yourself?
We feed ourselves a diet of negative self-talk such as “I’m an idiot,” or “I’m such a klutz” or my favorite “I’m too stupid to live” and then wonder why we lack self-confidence and self-belief."
-Helena Ritchie
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Warm and Fuzzy
Last night was the first rehearsal for our CUUPs group's upcoming ritual.
Yeah, we rehearse. It's not like its scripted and there are things to be memorized, but this way we know when the transitions are and who will be doing what. And it gives us a chance to get feedback on how our particular things went and if we should make a change.
Overall, I think rehearsing will give us a more cohesive ritual. And a more powerful one.
Not that I don't think there isn't something equally powerful about a completely spontaneous and unrehearsed ritual. The last one we did at Samhain was like that and it was a very good evening and everyone really got something out of it.
I think though, that this gives us time to prepare ourselves. And a few "mini-rituals" to really feel our way into our parts.
I am so pleased that this part of my life is filling up again. My spiritual life is important to me and I don't make nearly enough time for it. Being alone in my practice for so long I get lazy and don't do the "whole thing" anymore. It's more simple - a prayer while stirring up dinner, thoughts and thank yous before falling asleep - that sort of thing. So it felt really good to be in ritual again - even this little "mini-ritual" - with others.
Just feeling warm and fuzzy that my spiritual health is on the upswing too.
Yeah, we rehearse. It's not like its scripted and there are things to be memorized, but this way we know when the transitions are and who will be doing what. And it gives us a chance to get feedback on how our particular things went and if we should make a change.
Overall, I think rehearsing will give us a more cohesive ritual. And a more powerful one.
Not that I don't think there isn't something equally powerful about a completely spontaneous and unrehearsed ritual. The last one we did at Samhain was like that and it was a very good evening and everyone really got something out of it.
I think though, that this gives us time to prepare ourselves. And a few "mini-rituals" to really feel our way into our parts.
I am so pleased that this part of my life is filling up again. My spiritual life is important to me and I don't make nearly enough time for it. Being alone in my practice for so long I get lazy and don't do the "whole thing" anymore. It's more simple - a prayer while stirring up dinner, thoughts and thank yous before falling asleep - that sort of thing. So it felt really good to be in ritual again - even this little "mini-ritual" - with others.
Just feeling warm and fuzzy that my spiritual health is on the upswing too.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Beginning
One word can have so very many meanings. I aim to muse here on all the meanings of the word "health", not just the obvious meaning of physical health. To me, health extends into every single aspect of my life as I think about it: mental health, physical health, relationship health, money health, house health....everything.
So much to try and do!!
Knowing that I have a tendency to get REALLY overwhelmed, I have decided to really focus on two aspects while still keeping a weather eye on all the other bits and bobs: money health and physical health.
Both of these make me absolutely nauseated every time I think about them. They are the two areas of my life I would love to completely ignore and have disappear completely so that I would never have to worry about them again.
Yes. I am an ostrich.
Yet, I really do want to have a better relationship with both these things. I want to no longer be afraid to look at my bank balance and I want to no longer be afraid to look in the mirror. I am, honestly, not a person who runs from things. I might let things go until they are a giant mess, but I won't run from it. When the time comes, I'll pony up and deal with it.
Well, that time has come.
I have joined a group training class that starts in two weeks. Ten people, one personal trainer and 8 weeks. She has been running these groups for a while and takes into account all aspects of physical health - including one's relationship with food. I'm thinking that it will be fun - insanely fucking hard work - but fun. My two goals for this are to be in the habit of regular exercise and to be able to do 25 pushups. I can't do one right now and gods know I don't work out regularly.
No scale goals. Those are not allowed in my world anymore. They are very triggering for me and lead to depression, binge eating and self hatred. Yay for disordered eating!
I am also switching back to eating Paleo. I felt SO GOOD when I ate that way. Right now, I am at the "one meal a day" is strict Paleo. This week, I will transition to two meals a day on Paleo. Many people just go 100% right from the get go, but that kinda triggers my "I MUST BE PERFECT AT ALL TIMES" issues so, I ease in. Either way, I'm still eating much better than before as I am doing all my own cooking and using fresh foods and not processed stuff or fast food all the time.
I know I have to still fight my demons with this. But if Health is to be my word, I can't ignore this big part of my life that it does need to apply to.
As to the money, I am facing up to my shortcomings there and figuring out what to do about it. I make PLENTY of money to live on, I just never seem to have any. Apparently, when you don't pay attention to these things, you can just lose track of where money goes and what you spent it on. Crazy!!!
I've found a great budgeting software that works for me. At long last the whole idea of how to manage money is making SENSE. I know, it's not rocket science and I'm a smart girl but I have never, ever, in 40 years grokked the idea of a checkbook and how to balance it and how to pay things without getting overdrawn. I KNOW! Insanity. My first hubby wasn't great at it either.
But finally, this concept is revealing itself to me with the help of YNAB . They aren't paying me anything to say this - hell, they probably don't know I exist - but I just love their product and the people I have spoken to. The thing isn't that they have this great software (they do) or that its a one time purchase with no charges for upgrades (it is!) or that the price is great (it REALLY is!) but its that they freaking TEACH you the method. For. Free. Honest to Gods. You don't even have to buy the software and they teach you the method. YOU could do it on paper or in Excel if you wanted. They just honestly want you help you manage your money. Amazing.
And I promise you, if I can understand this, ANY. ONE. CAN. I can see how there will, at some point, be light at the end of the tunnel that isn't a pack of creditors coming for me with torches. Already, I feel better, simply just for knowing what's going on.
I guess the point is that I'm gearing up. Girding my loins. Gathering my tools. Setting some goals for my year. It's exciting, isn't it? The fresh possibilities that exist with beginnings are so small and pink and new in my hands. I can't wait to see what they will grow into with love and nurturing....
So much to try and do!!
Knowing that I have a tendency to get REALLY overwhelmed, I have decided to really focus on two aspects while still keeping a weather eye on all the other bits and bobs: money health and physical health.
Both of these make me absolutely nauseated every time I think about them. They are the two areas of my life I would love to completely ignore and have disappear completely so that I would never have to worry about them again.
Yes. I am an ostrich.
Yet, I really do want to have a better relationship with both these things. I want to no longer be afraid to look at my bank balance and I want to no longer be afraid to look in the mirror. I am, honestly, not a person who runs from things. I might let things go until they are a giant mess, but I won't run from it. When the time comes, I'll pony up and deal with it.
Well, that time has come.
I have joined a group training class that starts in two weeks. Ten people, one personal trainer and 8 weeks. She has been running these groups for a while and takes into account all aspects of physical health - including one's relationship with food. I'm thinking that it will be fun - insanely fucking hard work - but fun. My two goals for this are to be in the habit of regular exercise and to be able to do 25 pushups. I can't do one right now and gods know I don't work out regularly.
No scale goals. Those are not allowed in my world anymore. They are very triggering for me and lead to depression, binge eating and self hatred. Yay for disordered eating!
I am also switching back to eating Paleo. I felt SO GOOD when I ate that way. Right now, I am at the "one meal a day" is strict Paleo. This week, I will transition to two meals a day on Paleo. Many people just go 100% right from the get go, but that kinda triggers my "I MUST BE PERFECT AT ALL TIMES" issues so, I ease in. Either way, I'm still eating much better than before as I am doing all my own cooking and using fresh foods and not processed stuff or fast food all the time.
I know I have to still fight my demons with this. But if Health is to be my word, I can't ignore this big part of my life that it does need to apply to.
As to the money, I am facing up to my shortcomings there and figuring out what to do about it. I make PLENTY of money to live on, I just never seem to have any. Apparently, when you don't pay attention to these things, you can just lose track of where money goes and what you spent it on. Crazy!!!
I've found a great budgeting software that works for me. At long last the whole idea of how to manage money is making SENSE. I know, it's not rocket science and I'm a smart girl but I have never, ever, in 40 years grokked the idea of a checkbook and how to balance it and how to pay things without getting overdrawn. I KNOW! Insanity. My first hubby wasn't great at it either.
But finally, this concept is revealing itself to me with the help of YNAB . They aren't paying me anything to say this - hell, they probably don't know I exist - but I just love their product and the people I have spoken to. The thing isn't that they have this great software (they do) or that its a one time purchase with no charges for upgrades (it is!) or that the price is great (it REALLY is!) but its that they freaking TEACH you the method. For. Free. Honest to Gods. You don't even have to buy the software and they teach you the method. YOU could do it on paper or in Excel if you wanted. They just honestly want you help you manage your money. Amazing.
And I promise you, if I can understand this, ANY. ONE. CAN. I can see how there will, at some point, be light at the end of the tunnel that isn't a pack of creditors coming for me with torches. Already, I feel better, simply just for knowing what's going on.
I guess the point is that I'm gearing up. Girding my loins. Gathering my tools. Setting some goals for my year. It's exciting, isn't it? The fresh possibilities that exist with beginnings are so small and pink and new in my hands. I can't wait to see what they will grow into with love and nurturing....
"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few"
-Shunryu Suzuki
Friday, January 13, 2012
The Password is: Health
It's a new year, so I've a new spot (in actuality an old spot that I've decided to occupy again) on the weird and wonderful internetz.
I've felt like writing again for a long time but finally have figured out just what I want to write about. Okay, not that anyone needs an actual topic to run a blog on the internet but it kind of helps to have a bit more of a theme than "I feel like writing."
SO!
Three things contributed to the finding of this topic.
Thing the first: I have always hated making New Year's resolutions. They have always been a way for me to focus on how much I am failing at them. I know, that sounds like so much fun I'm sure you can't believe that I don't enjoy it!
However, I mentioned to the fabulous boyfriend, STAG, that I really actually DO need to make some changes in my life and after discussing how angsty making these particular changes always makes me and how many times I've tried and not gotten to my desired result, he asks me if I've ever tried to work spiritually with these goals as well as in everyday life.
Well. NO.
And isn't THAT just a brilliant idea!
You now know some of why I love this man so.
Soon after that I saw a "thing" floating around on a particular social network we all love to hate that instead of a specific resolution like "I resolve to get the oil changed in my car on time for all of 2012" one merely chooses a word like "maintenance". And then one can simply apply that to one's life in any way one chooses for the year, including car maintenance.
The third thing happened while working with some of my dearest witchy friends on the local CUUPs group (Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans). We decided that this year, we were going to have an overarching theme for all of our rituals: How Will You Weave Your Year?
And WHAMMO! It all coalesced for me. Thankfully, by the time the third thing happened I was already aware that the Multiverse was conspiring against me and was on the lookout for the smack upside the head so I was able to roll with it.
Here I am, then, with my word and my spiritual direction for weaving my year and my wee blog to talk about how that weaving is going and how that word is applying itself to me and my life. I hope y'all enjoy the journey with me. And, feel free to pick your own word and see what you can weave this year. :)
I've felt like writing again for a long time but finally have figured out just what I want to write about. Okay, not that anyone needs an actual topic to run a blog on the internet but it kind of helps to have a bit more of a theme than "I feel like writing."
SO!
Three things contributed to the finding of this topic.
Thing the first: I have always hated making New Year's resolutions. They have always been a way for me to focus on how much I am failing at them. I know, that sounds like so much fun I'm sure you can't believe that I don't enjoy it!
However, I mentioned to the fabulous boyfriend, STAG, that I really actually DO need to make some changes in my life and after discussing how angsty making these particular changes always makes me and how many times I've tried and not gotten to my desired result, he asks me if I've ever tried to work spiritually with these goals as well as in everyday life.
Well. NO.
And isn't THAT just a brilliant idea!
You now know some of why I love this man so.
Soon after that I saw a "thing" floating around on a particular social network we all love to hate that instead of a specific resolution like "I resolve to get the oil changed in my car on time for all of 2012" one merely chooses a word like "maintenance". And then one can simply apply that to one's life in any way one chooses for the year, including car maintenance.
The third thing happened while working with some of my dearest witchy friends on the local CUUPs group (Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans). We decided that this year, we were going to have an overarching theme for all of our rituals: How Will You Weave Your Year?
And WHAMMO! It all coalesced for me. Thankfully, by the time the third thing happened I was already aware that the Multiverse was conspiring against me and was on the lookout for the smack upside the head so I was able to roll with it.
Here I am, then, with my word and my spiritual direction for weaving my year and my wee blog to talk about how that weaving is going and how that word is applying itself to me and my life. I hope y'all enjoy the journey with me. And, feel free to pick your own word and see what you can weave this year. :)
"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we outhg to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but for potential"
-Ellen Goodman
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